"Friends"

I said to her quote "I didn't know what to say that night, I wanted more than anything to keep you mine but I didn't know how you felt. It was hard to do so but I thought it could've all been a joke that in the first place you didn't really like me and now you just made an excuse to get out of it. I thought you were ashamed  of me when you suggested we break up" the reply, " No it wasn't a joke and how could you think I was joking about something like that why would you think I would judge you, I wasn't lying to you. But I guess none of that matters now". In review I basically  just screwed up that relationship for a while, I told her I still like her and that was the overall outcome. I'm sorry, I don't want things to be this way and you promised we'd be friends. whatever that implies, I don't think not talking is a friendly gesture. "I was unsure of myself, I faltered in everything I said and did including refusing to let you go" now quote "I guess none of it matters now" The final thing you said to me was not to blame myself, well I am, I am sorry; and if it still means anything to you I do still want to be your friend.